compassionate: pity for and a desire to help another; sympathy;
feeling or expressing pity or sorrow for the distress of another.
sympathy is the act of or capacity for entering into the feelings
or interests of another.
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harm: to cause harm to: hurt; to damage, injure, impair.
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harsh: causing physical discomfort; severe (harsh punishment);
producing an unpleasant sensory response; irritating; extremely
severe or exacting; stern; synonym: rough
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hit: to touch or cause to touch with force; to contact forcefully;
to strike; to strike with a missile; to deal a blow: belt (slang),
bop (slang), box, clip (colloquial), clobber (slang), clout (slang),
conk, crown (colloquial), cuff, jab, knock, punch, rap, slap,
smack, sock (slang), strike, wallop (slang), whack (slang);
to deliver (a blow or blows) suddenly and sharply: belt (colloquial),
bludgeon, cane, pelt, club, lambaste (colloquial), pummel, punch,
slap, slug (colloquial), smack, sock (colloquial), strike, swat.
force: power; power or violence
used on a person or thing.
spank: to slap on the buttocks
with a flat object or with the open
hand as punishment. [Surveys reveal that a few rare parents
spank only on the buttocks-- most others also spank elsewhere;
just over 50% slap or spank, 30% push, shove, or grab, 10% hit
with an object like a brush, paddle, or belt, and 3% throw
something at the child. One can hit without spanking, but one
can not spank without hitting.]
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hitting: [An essay by Chris Dugan, Colorado University at Denver]
Spanking is a
form of hitting. It is a euphemism used by people when
they want to deny that spanking involves hitting. They use a rhetorical
trick: trying to sound correct; not be correct. Spanking is a form
of
hitting.
Because the dictionary
definition of 'hit' does not carry any moral
connotations, it sometimes seems a better word to use than 'spank',
which does carry connotations. The way it is most commonly used,
'spanking' implies something harmless and beneficial. But, there
is
mounting evidence (circumstantial, but quite worrisome, nonetheless)
consistent with the suspicion that spanking may result in long term
harm in a significant portion of our children. There is yet no solid,
scientific evidence of any long-term benefits from the practice.
When we think
of hitting another person, we think of it as something
morally wrong and illegal ... something we are not supposed to do,
unless done to a child. This double standard is legitimated and
disguised at the same time by using a special and separate word for
hitting children. Using 'hitting' rather than 'spanking' gives exposure
to
the glaring reality of any inequity. Substitute the word 'hit' with
any of
the several other synonyms and the meaning and moral connotations
remain unchanged. We (children included) are not supposed to hit.
Whatever word we use, the behavior is what is wrong.
If there is any
debate, it is probably in the premise that 'hitting is wrong',
rather than 'spanking is a form of hitting', which, in my opinion, is
correct. Denial about the fact that parents really are hitting their
children makes undesirable the argument that some forms of hitting are
right. How else might parents logically defend what they do to their
children?
We think that
adults hitting adults is wrong. We think that children hitting
adults or children hitting children is wrong. The word we use does not
change that. Moral connotation is attached to the behavior, not to the
word used. Adults hitting children is traditional and when the special
euphemistic word, 'spanking', is used, the form of hitting becomes
morally acceptable. When someone recognizes this inequity, the
exclusive uses of certain special euphemisms become less valid.
Those who would
assert that hitting excludes spanking are making up
their own meanings, tailored to fit their own beliefs, attitudes, and the
behaviors based on them.
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hurt: to feel or cause pain; to do harm to; distress, offend;
to make poorer
or more difficult; to cause physical damage or pain to;
to make suffer.
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gentle: not harsh or stern: mild; considerate in disposition,
amiable, patient,
mild, soft; not severe or violent; archaic: noble, chivalrous.
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kind: wanting or liking to do good and to bring happiness to
others;
showing or growing out of gentleness or goodness of heart; of a
friendly nature, generous or hospitable; warmhearted; good;
charitable; helpful; showing sympathy or understanding; humane;
tolerant, courteous; thoughtful; generous, agreeable, beneficial.
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merciful: showing compassion; lenient (Jeremiah 3:12)
mercy: kind and gentle treatment of a wrongdoer; a kind sympathetic
disposition: willingness to forgive, spare, or help; kind and
compassionate treatment of persons under one's power.
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parent: one who begets, gives birth
to, or nurtures and raises a child;
a father or a mother. 2. An ancestor; a progenitor.
3. An organism that produces or generates offspring.
4. A guardian; a protector. 5. A source or cause; an origin:
Despair is the parent of rebellion. --tr. 1. To act as a parent
to; raise and nurture: "A genitor who does not parent the child
is not its parent" (Ashley Montagu).
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right: being just or good: upright; in accordance with or conformable
to justice, morality, or another standard; just; morally good.
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tender: not tough; feelings showing love; solicitous; expressing
gentle
emotions; loving; given to sympathy or sentimentality;
protective; sparing.
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violent: extreme, intense; cause by force; Rough action.
Severe; harsh.
Marked by intensity: impassioned, vehement, gentle (antonym)
antonyms:
tender, moderate, calm, tame, mild, serene.
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violence: the use of force to harm a person or damage property;
physical
force exerted for the purpose of violating, damaging, or abusing:
"The essence of war is violence" (Macaulay); an act or instance
of violent action or behavior; abusive or unjust exercise of power;
an outrage; a wrong.
[On page seven, Beating the Devil Out of Them, Dr. Straus, writes:
"Violence is an act carried out with the intention, or perceived inten-
tion, of causing physical pain or injury to another person". Spanking
children is intentional and the intention is to cause pain. Injury
does
not always occur. If an injury is caused, the same act is
no longer
legal 'spanking', it is physical abuse.]
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wrong: not right (it is wrong to lie); not proper; contrary to
conscience, ethics
or morality; immoral; unfair; unjust; an invasion or a violation
of
another's legal rights; lack of justice: inequity, inequality,
injustice,
unfairness; a harmful or damaging act: disservice, assault, abuse,
bad turn, evil, harm, hurt, injury, mischief. antonyms: justice,
equity,
fairness, right, service, benefit, help.
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